A CLARIFICATION OF PURPOSE

  BY GEORGE W. BUSHE

   I have been asked to write a short piece on something, I seem to have forgotten exactly what but it doesn’t matter.

   I think it was something to do with inadequate objects that speak. I know a lot of them cause I was once one, I think. I can’t really remember if I was or not, but now I’m adequate and can walk and talk and be president.

   My vice president is inadequate and fits in perfectly. I try to keep myself surrounded by inadequate objects, whether they are important or not. My wife thinks it’s silly, but I do enjoy it so.

   Excuse me a bit, there is some important business to take care of here. I will let you listen in.

   “Yes, Mr. Secretary.”

   “Mr. Presidunt. There is a major peril with China.”

   “Well, China has many perils. They come from oysters and are quite valuable.”         

   “No, your excellent eminence person. Peril not pearls.”

   “Pearl is the name of the housekeeper. What does she have to do with this? Is she in trouble?”

   “Sir. China has just sunk one of our ships in the tra-la gulf.”

   “Does everyone on board know how to swim?”

   “Of course, they’re Navy, but that’s not the point.”

   “Well, it’s good exercise for them. Sitting aboard ship all day and night without getting any exercise.”

   “Sir. Should we pick them up or declare some reciprocal action?”

   “Well. if the Chinese want to go swimming with our boys, I don’t see any reason to get upset. Now excuse me, I am busy here, trying to relate to our common citizen.”

   “Shall I just do what I think is best?”

   “Of course, if that is what you think is best. Don’t do anything that isn’t best, cause it wouldn’t be best then any more, - get it. We have to think here.”

   “Is that all Mr. Secretary?”

   “Well, one more thing. There are several thousand young people outside and they are protesting our free trade agreement.”

   “What do they look like?”

   “They look like young people Mr. President.”

   “How can you tell. Are you sure? You can never be too careful.”

   “Well, they may be old people dressed up as young people, but I don’t think so.”

   “Don’t think. Find out. Go make them all take their clothes off and then we’ll know if there is a conspiracy or not.”

   “And then/”

   “Then what?”

   “After they take there clothes off.”

   “Well, have them put them back on. Can’t have people running around naked can we.”

   “But what’s the point?”

   “There doesn’t have to be a point. I can point at anyone I want to, after all I’m the presidunt.”

   “Yes, sir. I understand.”

    Now where was I? Oh. I was writing to some people about inadequate objects that talk and things like that. Oh, fizzlesticks, I forgot what I was going to say. Well, I had better go eat lunch, or is it breakfast? I’ll have to ask Barbara.